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Free · Take one · Tract No. 1999
A short and urgent message from The 3 Drunken Celts

Have you heard The Good Word of Whiskies?

Friend, are you prepared for the Grand Tasting? Many are not. Some of them brought wine.

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A party planning organization · Not a club · Preaching since 1999
The Grand Tasting, explained to the unconverted

Six questions you were about to ask

What must I do to be admitted?

Bring one bottle of whisky. It covers you and up to three companions. No other faith offers these terms.

Is there life after dark?

There is. It begins just after dark, each November, in the 3DC camp at Great Western War. This year: Friday, Nov 6th, 2026.

What of those who drink wine?

We do not judge. We do have a small table by the door, and that is where the wine will be. Only whiskies are seen in camp: any grain spirit, from any region.

May I discuss politics?

You may. In the street. To the street.

Will there be a collection?

Yes. See question one.

Is this a club?

No. It is a party planning organization. We are asked this often, and we give the same answer every time, a little more slowly.

The 3DC camp at dusk: a red canopy hung with lights, a table of bottles and the 3DC banner A long table of whisky bottles receding into the distance, a metal tasting cup in the foreground
Left: our humble mission tent, before the service. Right: the altar. Attendance is voluntary, which is the surprising part.
Read the commandments (the rules of the night)
How we taste

The four spiritual measures

1 Viscosity How thick it feels in the mouth. From 1 to 5.
2 Boldness How hard the flavor hits. From 1 to 5.
3 Length of Story How long the finish lingers. From 1 to 5.
4 Personal Taste Your own verdict, from A to F. There is no E. Do not write in about the E.
App screen: a Laphroaig 10 tasting with its three scores and an A minus grade
3DC Tasting Notes, for iPhone and Android

Carry the good word with you

Our paper tasting sheet, made an app. Record every dram by the four measures and learn, over time, what you truly believe.

It asks for no account, keeps nothing in a cloud and tracks nobody. Other missionaries want your email address. This one does not answer the door.

Download on theApp Store Coming soon toGoogle Play
How the app works, in full Prefer paper? Free leaflets to download
Further reading for the newly persuaded

Ninety-five earlier tracts

Written between 2006 and 2026: tasting notes, reviews, gift guides and reports from the road. None of them has been recalled.

Open the archive
Three laughing men in medieval dress, one holding up a bottle of whisky

A testimony. Three men who went looking for whisky and found it. They had not been lost. May 27, 2001.

American16 Blends10 Islay9 Speyside7 Highland6 Irish5 A miracle, documentedIn 2021 a cask of 18 year Tipperary single malt, number 2304, arrived bearing our name. It was for the 20th anniversary and came a year late. We do not question miracles.

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Cut along the dotted line. Or do not. It is a web page.
Yes! I will attend the Grand Tasting this November. I enclose one (1) bottle of whisky and up to three (3) companions.
No. I would rather talk about politics. (Please use the other door. There is no other door.)
Send me a sticker, that I may spread the word by car. White vinyl, 4.5 by 3.93 inches. $3.50 each, 5 for $15.50, 10 for $30. Buy stickers
I wish to join. (You cannot. Membership is by invitation only. Members are invited in, and keep the rules of becoming a member. Ticking this box does nothing, but we admire the confidence.)