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The genuine and original · Beware of imitations
The 3 Drunken Celts’
Celebrated

Sovereigne Liquor

Party Tonic
Prepared only by a party planning organization (not a club) · Est. 1999
Sloweth age!
Strengtheneth youth!
Helpeth digestion!
Cutteth flegme!
Lighteneth the mynd!
Cureth the hydropsie!*

*Claims first made in 1577 by Mr. Raphael Holinshed and not evaluated since, by anyone. We looked. He also wrote that it is a sovereigne liquor “if it be orderlie taken”, which is the part we are still working on.

Take the cure: the Grand Tasting Get the app
The Grand Tasting

Directions for use

Dose
One Grand Tasting, taken annually, each November at Great Western War. This year: Friday, Nov 6th, 2026.
To be taken
Just after dark, in the 3DC camp, among friends, on a full sense of humour.
Cost of treatment
One bottle of whisky treats four: you and up to three companions.
Active ingredient
Whiskies, 100%. Any grain spirit, from any region.
Contains no
Politics. Wine. Sugar spirits. Dignity.
Warning
Do not discuss politics while using this product. If politics persist for more than one sentence, you will be shown the street.
Read the full leaflet (the rules of the night)
The 3DC camp at dusk: a red canopy hung with lights, a table of bottles and the 3DC banner
The dispensary, shortly before opening. Consultations are free. The opinions are not optional.
In the interest of candour

Known side effects

  • Laughter, often at an inappropriate volume.
  • Strong and sudden opinions about peat.
  • New friends, some of them permanent.
  • A tendency to rate things from 1 to 5.
  • The purchase of stickers.
  • In rare cases, an invitation.
Unsolicited, unverified, unlikely

Testimonials

“I arrived with one bottle and three friends. I left with no bottle and eleven friends.”A grateful patient
“I have taken the cure every year and feel no better at all. I shall be back in November.”A regular
“I did not have the hydropsie. I still do not. Draw your own conclusions.”A sceptic, since converted
Three laughing men in medieval dress, one holding up a bottle of whisky
The proprietors, photographed mid-dose. May 27, 2001.
The pocket dispensary

3DC Tasting Notes

App screen: a Laphroaig 10 tasting with its three scores and an A minus grade

For the accurate recording of symptoms: Viscosity, Boldness and Length of Story from 1 to 5, and a prognosis from A to F. There is no E. Patient records stay on your phone unless the patient sends them.

Download on theApp Store Coming soon toGoogle Play
Full directions for use Paper prescriptions and other downloads
Published 2006 to 2026

Ninety-five case notes

Tasting notes, reviews and reports from the field, filed by region. No patients were harmed. Several were delighted.

American16 Blends10 Islay9 Speyside7 Highland6 Irish5
Open the archive
For external use only

The sticker

The 3DC logo as a white vinyl sticker

Apply one white vinyl sticker, 4.5 by 3.93 inches, to the affected vehicle. Reapply if the vehicle changes. $3.50 each, 5 for $15.50, 10 for $30.

Buy stickers

Not sold in stores. Or anywhere else.

Membership in the 3 Drunken Celts is by invitation only. It cannot be bought, prescribed or caught. Members are invited in, and must keep the rules of becoming a member. Guests may take the cure with nothing more than a bottle.

About the 3DC